Incredibly rare footage of USS New Jersey and USS Missouri firing their main AND secondary gun batteries after their modernization/reactivation in the 1980’s.
There’s lots of video of the Iowa-class battleships firing their 16-inch guns in the 80’s and 90’s, but I’ve never seen them fire their secondary 5-inch guns full on. The muzzle flashes only seem “little” because the massive main batteries are also firing, but each of these two-gun dual mounts equaled the some firepower (two 5-inch guns) modern cruisers carry today. Each Iowa-class battleship had 6 of them, with 4 having been removed to make room for Tomahawk and Harpoon missiles during their 1980’s reactivation.
This must have been a site to see. Two dreadnoughts, cloaked in smoke, pounding away with their guns. But for the rotating radar dishes and modern missile launchers, this could have been footage from the Battle of Jutland.
(Despite what the narrator says, these are not automatic guns. The 5-inchers were obviously much faster than the main battery, but were still manned by dozens of sailors (or in the case of one turret on each ship, a detachment of marines). Also, the ships don’t move backwards in the water more than a millimeter.)
Battleship Missouri firing its main gun battery in 1991
Battleships are so fucking cool. The 16-inch main guns of an Iowa-class battleship could hurl a projectile the size of a Volkwsagen Beetle over 24-miles, and they had enough armor plating to laugh off almost any modern anti-ship missile, mine or torpedo.
Built in the 30’s and 40’s, they were last deployed during the 1991 Iraq war. The guns were fired using the same primitive, room-sized computers used during WWII. Building artillery on this scale is impressive enough, but then making it float on a boat that can go 30 knots is an engineering marvel.
Sadly all the Iowas are now serving as museum ships (though subject to recall in the event of a national emergency). Right now a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier is having to show the flag in the Straits of Hormuz, and there’s a lot of debate about what would happen if one of these nuclear powered bedrocks of the US Navy came under actual attack - something that’s never happened.
Whereas one well-placed cruise missile could take out a carrier’s flight deck and render her useless, or blow an escort vessel in half, an Iowa battleship could have sailed into the straits with no such worries. Iran’s anti-ship missiles would literally char the paint, with all the ship’s critical systems protected behind armor designed to deflect the impact of 18-inch armor-piercing shells.
David is a political impressionist based in New York City. His John McCain impression won Denny's Restaurants national "Vote For Real" competition and he performed with NBC's Chris Matthews (the real one) at the Philadelphia World Affairs Council.
An improviser by training, David has performed frequently at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre, and has also performed stand up comedy at Comix. He's also done some writing for Collegehumor.
